Too many times I can tell when a conversation takes a wrong turn. In a relationship usually when there are issues one person is being brutally honest or not honest enough. When one is being too honest it can leave the other party feeling undervalued, no respect, or even less of a person. When one isn’t being honest enough it can leave the other party feeling as if all is great while continuing to do the same things you have a problem with.
I believe in most cases its all about your approach. You have to speak from a place of love! This causes for one to really think and/or pray before speaking. I’m not saying I have all the answers but I do know it works for us. I know its cliche’ “Treat others the way you want to be treated” but it’s true! There’s a way to say things without yelling, being demanding or getting your point across without beating around the bush. To do this you have to learn your spouse or partner.
Jokingly, a friend stated at a gathering that he bets it’s always quiet at our house. “Ya’ll probably never fight”, he said. We laughed not only because it was true but it was funny that he got that vibe from us. True we have our debates but we are still learning to approach all situations or issues with love and respect. If something is bothering me I try my best not to speak with an attitude, I stop myself (often praying, “how should I say this? or how should I handle this?”), and think about what the issue really is or why is it bothering me? It helps me to find the words I needs to say instead of beating around the bush or disrespecting him in the process. Taking a moment to really think on things you’ll quickly learn to attack the issue not the person.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
What approach do you take when there is an issue or situation?